


Alone

by AerofBreath



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: Angst, Other, So much angst, i tried not to show too much, it gets a tiny bit graphic, lots of swearing too, no happy ending, sorry - Freeform, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:09:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28667523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AerofBreath/pseuds/AerofBreath
Summary: Jeremy woke up in a sweat, jolting upright on his bed. Gasping for air, he put his shaking hands to his face just to calm down.OrJeremy remembers the past.
Kudos: 6





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, reader! Before you read, just know that it will get a tiny bit graphic. Not all too bad, I think, but I'm saying this now so no one gets mad at me. There's probably gonna be a lot of typos and grammatical errors since I wrote this at 5 am. Also, sorry if it's a bit OOC. Again, I wrote this at 5 am...
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

Jeremy woke up in a sweat, jolting upright on his bed. Gasping for air, he put his shaking hands to his face just to calm down. It felt all too real to be a dream. How the flames tickled his skin, burning parts of a costume right off. It felt angry, tearing at the seams of his outfit.

Taking in a few breaths, he shook his head. It was just a dream. All of this… It happened years ago. 5, to be exact. He's already moved out of his father's home. Already managed to deactivate the SQUIP. But… why can he remember it like it was yesterday?

He already heard the screams. He's seen people run away but for some reason, he didn't know why. SQUIP had already asked Jeremy to leave but before it could forcibly do it himself, Jeremy was already running. To where, it knew. Why? It didn't know. It noticed Jeremy was heading towards the kitchen to grab a drink. Despite how obvious it was, it would seem that Jeremy doesn't even have a clue about the fire. There were already so many things that happened in the past hour that he just either didn't seem to notice or care.

"Oh well," SQUIP thought. It was already malfunctioning from previous alcohol usage, so it wasn't able to tell if Jeremy would be responsible enough to run away. Any other person would, so it doesn't concern SQUIP a whole lot.

Jeremy was then left alone with just his thoughts. How could Christine reject him? He thought he was helping her by rescuing her from Jake. Maybe he didn't do it right. Maybe he said it at the wrong time. Maybe she's just not ready. He doesn't know.

He frowned at the thought. Fuck. Why doesnt he know? Why can't he know? Why is it that something bad always happens to him? Why can't he just get anything right? He's been following SQUIP's advice. He did what it told him to do and this is what he gets in return?

Maybe Michael was right. Maybe he did fuck up. Maybe listening to a computer in his brain actually isn't the right call. Is there a way to change goals last minute? Maybe he should just figure out how to Be More Chill but not in that way. Maybe he should just accept things the way they are and move on.

But…

He said some really hurtful things to Michael. Called him jealous. Called him a… a loser. 

Jeremy hissed and threw his drink on the ground, angry with himself. He fucked up. All Michael was doing was trying to help. Trying to get his old friend back and this is how he was treated. He was beat down verbally, never to be seen again.

Maybe he could still change things. Maybe he could atone for what he said. The last place he saw him was in the bathroom but, that was over an hour ago.

The teenage boy finally came to his senses and made a decision. Rubbing his hands to his face in hopes to sober up, he finally looked at his surroundings.

Oh.

Oh this is new.

There's so much fire.

How did he manage to ignore the flames for so long? It wasnt much. It just started to pour down the stairs. He assumes that the upstairs would be much worse.

Wait. Wasn't Michael just up there?

"Hey, dumbass!" A party-goer yelled over at Jeremy. He looked over and saw that it was Dustin Kropp, "The fuck are you still in there for? In case you didnt notice, but theres fire in this fucking building! Get the fuck out of here or you're literally toast!"

"W-Wait!" Jeremy croaked back, "Was there another guy around here? Looked like a bunch of trash??"

"Wh- You're asking me this now?!" Dustin ran up to him and grabbed Jeremy by the collar, "Get outside! He's probably out there too or something!"

They both ran out of the back door of the kitchen and around towards the front where everyone else is and as Jeremy predicted, the top floor was much worse than the bottom. Nothing shooting out or glass breaking, but it looked pretty bad up there.

Jeremy looked at his surroundings. Christine. Jake. Jenna. Those three were out there. He remembered at some point Chloe and Brooke leaving at different times of the night, but far before this happened so he knows they're safe. Rich is no where to be seen and… Michael. He's not there either.

There was no way he saw Michael come down earlier back when he was talking with Christine. They were both in the living room and the kitchen was very easy to spot as the back door was in there. Maybe Michael ran out when he wasn't looking? No. That cant be it. With his anxiety, he would've spotted a familiar face or costume as a way to get out of a bad conversation. He could've left through the second floor windows? Wait. Jeremy turned around. His eyes widened. No. His car is still here. Then…

"Holy shit!" He snapped his head towards the voice. It was Jenna, "There's someone still inside!!"

"Rich!!" Jake yelled, taking off his Prince overcoat and wig before dashing on inside.

"How much longer till the firemen arrive?" He hears Christine call out.

"Not for another 5 minutes!" Dustin replied.

"That's not enough time!" Jenna wails, the phone in her hands shaking as she's trying to record every second of this.

Jeremy is frozen in his place. His head spinning, overwhelmed by the things going on in his head. He's far too intoxicated to think but he doesn't know what to do. Michael doesn't like leaving his car anywhere. There's too many drugs and illegal purchases in there for him to just leave around. It must mean…

Jeremy, although shaking, turned his head towards a window and that's when he saw it.

"Michael?" Jeremy whispered.

He was wearing a CREEPS sweater.

"Michael?" Jeremy said a little louder.

He was looking down at him. Tears running down his face as he placed a hand on the window from the bathroom above.

"Michael!!" Jeremy screamed, finally finding the courage to leave his spot, startling himself and the other teenagers on the road. Dustin tried to intercept him, screaming at him that it was too late, but he was already gone and past him.

The fire was immense, flames nipping at his skin, slowly trying to tear through the fabric of his costume. From the little exercise he's been getting from his SQUIP, he jumped, ducked, and dodged any bit of the harsher flames that came in his way. It hurt, he knew, but he didn't care. He fucked up so many times already. He did not want to do it again.

Now finding himself on the top floor and standing in front of the bathroom, Jeremy pounded his fists on the door. "Michael!! Let me in please!"

When he got no response, he tried to think again. Parts of the door were already burning up, so they're most likely the weaker parts of the door. He whined loudly and raised a leg to try to kick down at part of the door.

It hurt like hell and it took him many tries, but it worked. It wasn't a big part, but it was enough to fit an arm through to unlock the door. Peering in, however, he wanted to make sure of Michael's condition. It would seem that he hasnt moved from his spot on the window. Looking down at everyone else.

Jeremy reached his hand through the small hole on the door, splinters attacking him and piercing his skin. "Michael! You've got to unlock the door!" Jeremy cried out, wriggling his hand around just so he could get to the handle. "It's fucking hot out here and it hurts! I'm trying to save you!"

When he got no response, Jeremy screamed in frustration, finding the handle on his own. "Look," Jeremy yelled, in hopes that the other could hear him, "I'm sorry about everything! I'm sorry that the SQUIP tried to make me cut you out. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you and I'm sorry that I called you a loser! If I could take everything back I could!" Tears were streaming down his face, finally able to unlock the door.

"I have no right to call you my best friend, but i just wish I could redo everything," Jeremy painfully pulled back his hand and tried for the door. The handle was hot and it startled him, but he turned it. "I want to be friends with you again. I want to get rid of this motherfucker inside of my brain. I want to hang out with you again. I want to smoke with you in the basement again." Jeremy finally opens the door. Michael seems to have not moved an inch. Jeremy walked closer, hesitant and scared, "I want to make fun of other people at parties for being too drunk. I want to play Apocalypse of the Damned with you again. We still haven't beat level 9 just yet!" Jeremy chuckled nervously, crying at this point. He reaches a hand to grab Michael's arm.

"Theres so many things I wanna do with you, Michael. You're my best friend I don't wanna lose you anymore," Jeremy looks up at Michael. He's not looking back but down. He follows where hes looking, "So please, let's get out of-"

It's him.

Jeremy stopped in his tracks, biting back his tongue. That cant be. Jeremy let go of Michael's arm as if it burned him, now reaching up to cover his own mouth. He could see himself, in a fetal position on the floor on the grass. Christine and some other teenager were hovering over him, screaming and shaking him. They're probably wondering if hes okay. Clearly, it doesn't seem that way.

"You seized and collapsed," a soft yet scratchy voice told him. Jeremy quickly turned his head and noticed that it was Michael who spoke.

"Your SQUIP reactivated just before you even ran in here. I saw you make a move but it was too late. It electrocuted you right as you were about to run."

That's right. Jeremy fell to his knees, eyes wide and still seeing the ground outside. How could he forget? He couldn't even feel the flames around him anymore. In fact, he didnt even feel the pain anymore. Looking down at himself, he was in his white tank top and boxers. He was 22 again. Michael died 5 years ago.

Michael continued talking, "You collapsed the moment your SQUIP electrocuted you and you were out for the rest of the night. I had died in the fire with my last thought being of you."

Jeremy remembers it all. Michael's body was beyond recognition but after going through the body's dental records, they confirmed that the poor body was of Michael Mell, the only death of the fire. Rich and Jake had made it out alive and he was grateful for that but…

Michael… he…

"I died alone. I died thinking that I deserved this. I knew no one would come and save me. You hate me, Jeremy."

That's not true.

"You're probably glad that I'm out of the way now, are you?" Michael said, his voice choking back tears.

No… It was never supposed to turn out this way!

"All I did was hold you back."

Jeremy struggled to speak. All of this was too much. He looked up at Michael hesitantly, almost ashamed to just look at him. Michael's clothes were lighting on fire. The exposed skin on his arms were starting to change colors. It was nauseating.

"I hope youre happy now. I hope this was worth it. You never came to save me. No one did," Michael cried out in pain finally, falling to his knees. Jeremy was startled by the sight and tried to move, but he just couldnt. He couldn't force himself to move.

"Even now, you didnt manage to save me."

Jeremy was sobbing at this point, his voice was croaking, trying to say something. Anything!

"I need to go now. I wish it didnt have to end up like this. But I guess we all cant have nice things, cant we? This… this was all you. You started this."

Jeremy shook his head finally. When he realized he could move, he sprung over to Michael but it was too late.

Jeremy woke up in a sweat, jolting upright on his bed. Gasping for air, he put his shaking hands to his face just to calm down. It felt all too real to be a dream. He was back in his apartment. Sweat trickling down his body. His hair matted onto his scalp. Something inside him just turned and he bent forward, bile seeping through between his fingers. He groaned in disgust and quietly got out of bed and towards the bathroom to clean up.

Michael was right. Everything went to shit after everything died down. After visiting Michaels home for one last time, he managed to get the Mountain Dew Red and ended the SQUIP himself before it got worse. He managed to tell Christine one final time about his feelings. It went well but not for too long. After a year or so, they just fell out of touch. Jeremy, Christine pointed out, had changed. Became less of who he was.

The moment he graduated and moved on to college, he left his deadbeat dad, eventually dropped out of college and is now making a decent wage as a front desk assistant at a Planet Fitness.

Jeremy washed his face and changed his clothes. He couldn't go back to sleep at this point. He walked towards one of 2 windows in his studio apartment and just stood there. He looked down at the rest of his apartment complex and just sighed.

He really was alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Lol oops


End file.
